Sucking As A Human Being

The other night, I was scrolling through my feed and found this interesting tweet.

What caught my eye was the referenced song.  I recognized the tune as I had downloaded the same song after I heard it in 'Hall Pass' a few months ago.  After confirming with Sweets we were talking about the same song, I joked that half the songs I've downloaded were from commercials or movies.  This was an off-the-cuff quip, but then I realized there was some truth to it.  Below is a list of songs I've downloaded after hearing them in commercials, TV shows, or movies.

Rubberband Man, The Spinners - Stripes/Office Max

Start A War, The National - St. Vincent

The Downeaster "Alexa," Billy Joel - Hangover II

Safe and Sound, Capital Cities - Mazda

The Walker, Fitz & The Tantrums - Supercuts

Overwhelmed, Tim McMorris - Sam Adams

Back to Paradise, 38 Special - Revenge of the Nerds 2

I'm Shipping Up To Boston, Dropkick Murphys - The Departed/Sam Adams

Walking On a Dream, Empire of the Sun - Hall Pass/Honda

One Thing, Finger Eleven - Scrubs

On Top Of The World, Imagine Dragons - The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Lose Yourself, Eminem - 8 Mile

Get Back, Ludacris - Tropic Thunder

How's that for sucking as a human being?

365 Pix in 365 Days for 2015: Images 019 through 025

I can only describe my fourth week of January with a term I haven't used since college. No, not "beer run."  Hell week.

The week after would be the annual AHR Expo, this year held in Chicago. Our top distributor is also in Chicago and our General Manager thought it would be a keen idea for us to sponsor a field trip with a group of other Principals and Owners who could learn the value of being in the aftermarket parts business. Since Chicago is in my territory, I was charged with teeing up the Parts Manager on a presentation and arranging for transportation from McCormick Place to the distributor location and back again. I'm also one of three Regional Sales Managers (RSMs), so I was responsible for finding at least six asses to fill the 18 available seats on the shuttle. 

We had a full month to prepare for the trip, which left plenty of time. However, these are busy professionals with very fluid schedules. If a better meeting arose, and aftermarket typically gets short shrift, more than likely a Principal would cancel. Booking people for the tour was an ever changing process. In addition, the GM also wanted all RSMs to schedule meetings throughout the time we were in Chicago so he could pick and choose what meetings to attend. We were to schedule a "beer summit" on Monday and Tuesday evening; a dinner meeting on Monday and Tuesday night; and a breakfast meeting on Tuesday morning. Over lunch on Tuesday we would take our field trip.

As luck would have it, two of the distributors I wanted to visit were only available on Sunday night. Everyone else was flying in Monday morning. but I was going to fly in a day early to meet with each of my distributors. Not surprisingly, one had another customer meeting so I wasn't able to connect with him. At any rate, the entire month of January involved some degree of event planning that lead right up to the Friday before the trip.

That week I was ambushed with a series of tasks that weren't on my calendar on Monday morning. Turns out our GM was taking a trip to Winnipeg to meet with a distributor. Although I had that distributor as part of my stable before, I transitioned the account to my fellow RSM. I was still asked to provide some detail on the distributor to prep the GM for his meeting. Once on the trip, he texted me for additional information. On Wednesday, my direct boss scheduled a pseudo quarterly review. I say 'pseudo' as the company requires only second and fourth quarter reviews, the first and third ones being a regular check-up/check-in. These still require prep work to track how I'm performing to plan. Fortunately, Q3 was pretty good for me.

I also learned on Monday I would be responsible for transporting a couple co-workers who have been testing the new e-commerce site the company is trying to release to the local Rep and company Service Office. Minnesota is part of my territory, and as the most customer facing person (I actually visit these places) I was tasked with making the introductions. My whole Thursday was shot, but there was a deadline to complete a Parts Potential Sales report by each Distributor for each region. My territory encompasses the North Central, South Central, and West regions. Thursday is also my bowling night, and since I'm the league secretary, I'm responsible for making sure everyone pays and the alley gets paid. I was able to delegate that assignment to someone else.

Finally, the GM scheduled another end-of-day meeting on Friday. The RSMs were asked to create a report of the last on-site visit we made to our distributors. I was glad to see I had been on-site with a bulk of my distributors over the last 18-20 months. The meeting was a watered down table thumper, where the GM said we needed to be tougher and more demanding of action from our distributors. The report was never reviewed.

So, this is my first true ventry of the New Year. I just need to add a signature and it could be a letter of resignation. 

How about another 7,000 words (assuming every picture is worth 1,000 - without captions)?

Image 019:  01-19-2015

I think everyone will be seen wearing white trash bags
tied at the knee.

Image 020:  01-20-2015

Just a slight dusting of snow. Those are dog toys, not kids toys.

Image 021:  01-21-2015

Wabasha Street Bridge in St. Paul

Image 022:  01-22-2015

My car is a piece of crap and this may have been only the second
or third time I've run it through a car wash, but if I was going to
have people in it, I wanted it to look decent.

Image 023:  01-23-2015

A drive by shooting (get it?  camera shot?) of the Ice Carnival.

Image 024:  01-24-2015

The St. Paul Cathedral lit up for the annual Red Bull
Crashed Ice event. We had bookended trips to
Cowboy Jacks around checking the venue, since we
thought it better to celebrate two friends' birthdays.

Image 025:  01-25-2015

My liver was well lubricated by the time I flew
to Chicago.  By the end of the night a group of
us ended up at a bar that served specialty drinks.
Not pictured:  a Bunsen burner

365 Pix in 365 Days for 2015: Images 012 through 018

I didn't start Week 3 of pictures with the intention of having a theme, but one seemed to have grown organically as I perused my photos. Not only has there been a lot of change over the nearly two decades I have lived in the The Twin Cities, but there has been a surge of new construction in the last few years. The fact that nothing stays the same is hardly an epiphany, but I'm starting to look at places and remembering what used to be there. So, Week 3 is a series of pictures of the old and the new.

Upcoming weeks will have a different mix of pictures as I start my traveling season for work. I'll be making another trip to Chicago followed by one to San Francisco. I'm excited for the latter as I haven't been there for about five years. My wife is jealous because her dad and his wife live there and I will be spending the weekend with them. Cost and timing were not on our side, so she wasn't able to meet me there. I plan to make it up to her later this year.

Anyway, enjoy the pictures and commentary.

Image 012:  01-12-2015

The swankiest corner in the Grand Avenue area of St. Paul.
There used to be a Ciatti's in this corner building.  Now there's
an Axel's and a Cafe Latte.

Image 013:  01-13-2015

Preparations for the Red Bull Crashed Ice Competition.
There used to be a path of sloping green grass here, and before
that, a light rail tunnel from back at the turn of the century.

Image 014: 01-14-2015

This is a new housing development called The Paxon.
There used to be an abandoned concrete parking garage just
a year ago last summer

Image 015:  01-15-2015

I was sad to hear that Pracna on Main was closing. This was one of
the bars on Minneapolis' Main Street, one of the first streets in the
city, that had 'patio' seating during the summer. My Wife and I
once stopped here after dropping off our tax returns. We were
going to get some money back and felt like celebrating.

Image 016:  01-16-2015

My Wife and I were invited by some friends from work to attend
a benefit at Cooper's for a young woman who was battling cancer.
There were tacos, bingo, a raffle, and silent auction. Oh yes, and
dancing.  Lots of awkward dancing.  I'll just say there was a dolphin
impression and leave it at that.  I had never been to Cooper's before,
so it was new to me.

Image 017:  01-17-2015

Just one of several add-ons and new buildings being erected in
Minneapolis.

Image 018:  01-18-2015

G-Bug had her first tournament with her new team, the
17-2 squad. There used to be a young lady who didn't get
much competition time on the 16-1 team, but not this year.

Why Make Bitters When You Can Be Bitter?

Here are a link and an excerpt to a blog post for a co-worker's efforts to start his own business and I'm glad to give him props to my small circle of readers.  If you are one who likes to put a little culture into your drinking, I highly recommend you investigate the trend of bitters; and if you are in or near Minnesota, you should buy some Dashfire.

Since orange is one of the original and most popular types of bitters, it’s called for in a number of classic whiskey cocktails. So Egbert thought to base his bitters on a quality bourbon, Old Weller Antique, instead of a neutral grain spirit.

His bitters are also distinct because they receive some barrel age. He lugged his 5-gallon barrel from Black Swan Cooperage into the bar, beeswax chipping around the rim, still fresh from draining batch number one, and emitting a powerful citrus-bourbon musk. The oak is both toasted and charred, producing Dashfire’s distinct woodsy-vanilla aftertaste.

I've always been more of a craft beer connoisseur, but I decided to branch out to harder stuff with Dashfire bitters.  I really enjoyed the flavor, but I think the bitters should be renamed "Doubtfire," as after three drinks, I woke up the next morning in a dress.  I'm sure a more experienced drinker will have better (or the same) results.

I must admit this post is a little bittersweet (ha!) for me.  I'm happy for my friend to be pursuing his dreams and all indications are he's succeeding.  However, a part of me can't help being envious as I continue to moisten my chair at a soul-sucking job in a cube farm until my desiccated remains are brushed into an urn and sent to my daughter.  Maybe I should make my own bitters and name it "Bile."  Doesn't get much more bitter than that, amiright?

By the way, who here thinks I look like a cross between Anthony Edwards and Bill O'Reilly?

American Research Corporation: April 1998 - July 1999

The one and only job I had in downtown Minneapolis was with a small, start-up company located on the 21^st floor of the Rand Tower.  The company attempted to offer marketing services to a select group of attorneys, located in Minnesota, Illinois, and Florida.  Mostly, it collected fees from attorneys to make Quick Reference Guides and other books that were distributed few and far between.  Essentially, it was a cash hole that only stayed afloat by what the employees assumed were the owner’s possession of compromising photos of his bank roller.  I was jettisoned about two months prior to the whole company going under.  Lucky me.

The beginning of the end was when the owner hired a former (and possibly disgraced) Northwest Airlines executive who was charged with improving the efficiencies of the company.  The first step was reducing the floor space the company was using and subleasing the rest.  The remaining portion was refurbished and the executive was able to get his corner office by displaying three employees.  The standard cost-cutting move of reducing headcount soon followed.  I was not one of the first to get cut and was able to stay nearly a whole year after the changes.

A clever clutch of us, although not so clever as to find other employment when the writing was on the wall, found an enjoyable way to pass the time when not busy at work.  We nicknamed the executive “The Pelican” for reasons I’m not quite sure of; although it might have been because of a painting in his office.  Anyway, the Pelican had a tendency to use and reuse odd phrases during business meetings and casual conversations.  We decided to collect a list of “Pelicanisms,” several of which are listed after the jump.