The Dirty Dozen: SitRep 08-17-2014 "Heading To Full Strength"

I should have made this post on Friday, August 8, when all of my stocks ended up for the day for the first time in months. Unfortunately, these modest upticks didn't come close to making up for the the YTD declines my stocks were experiencing.  Both Mattel and B&G Foods laid eggs for the second time in as many quarters, while Kraft and Nutrisystem had sizable dips, from which they eventually recovered.

On the activity side, Paychex had grown to the point where it could no longer provide a full share every quarter in reinvested dividends (my growth strategy), so I sold my stake to purchase shares in Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory (RMCF) and AT&T (T). The combination of stocks actually put me ahead of my dividend earnings pace with Paychex.

Recently, Darden Restaurants had sold its Red Lobster business, much to the dismay of an activist investor group, and the stock started to tumble. I sold my stake at a loss in the middle of he decline. The stock has since returned to a level above where I sold it. I exchanged those shares for ones in PetMed Express (PETS) and increased my holdings in Nutrisystem to outpace the dividends from Darden. 

On Friday, I received my first dividend payout from PetMed, which turned into more than four reinvested shares.  Here is how my portfolio looks today:

First Month of Quarter Payers
B&G Foods (BGS)
Profit/Loss Per Share:                +$3.94
Annual Reinvested Shares Pace:  6.00

• Increased dividend to $.34 per share starting in April

Kraft (KRFT)
Profit/Loss Per Share:                +$0.52
Annual Reinvested Shares Pace:  4.75

Xcel Energy (XEL)
Profit/Loss Per Share:               +$4.86
Annual Reinvested Shares Pace:  5.50

Crown Crafts (CRWS)
Profit/Loss Per Share:               -$0.08
Annual Reinvested Share Pace:  7.00


Second Month of Quarter Payers
PetMed Express (PETS)
Profit/Loss Per Share:                +$0.37
Annual Reinvested Shares Pace:  19.50

NutriSystem (NTRI)
Profit/Loss Per Share:                +$3.81
Annual Reinvested Shares Pace:  10.00

AT&T (T)
Profit/Loss Per Share:                -$0.55
Annual Reinvested Shares Pace:  5.00


Third Month of Quarter Payers
Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory (RMCF)
Profit/Loss Per Share:                +$0.99
Annual Reinvested Shares Pace:  4.50

Mattel (MAT)
Profit/Loss Per Share:                +$8.85
Annual Reinvested Shares Pace:  6.00

Waste Management (WM)
Profit/Loss Per Share:                +$12.81
Annual Reinvested Shares Pace:  4.00

365 in 365 in 2014: Images 090 through 096

Has anyone else noticed how ugly the months of March and April are?  I don't mean any offense in case anyone has birthdays or anniversaries in those months; but let's face it, there's not a lot of pleasantness to see. If you're lucky enough to be in an area where Spring actually springs, you're still witness to Winter's death throes - gray weather, bare trees, and the crystallized grime of melting snow. However, the Earth still turns and orbits the sun, so you know you're in the home stretch to Memorial Day, when just about everywhere in the northern hemisphere is blissfully warm and bright.  Except maybe Canada.

Now that I've set the tone, here are seven more pictures from earlier this year.

No. 090:  03-31-2014

A remarkably sylvan scene near downtown Minneapolis

No. 091:  04-01-2014

I don't know what this guy's April Fool's Day prank was (far left),
but the police were NOT amused!

No. 092:  04-02-2014

One of several small statuary on the riverside paths in Minneapolis.

No. 093:  04-03-2014

Another day, another snow storm.

No. 094:  04-04-2014

Another four to five inches to shovel.

No. 095:  04-05-2014

Interesting view of the drop in water level at one of the many
locks and dams along the river.

No. 096:  04-06-2014

The North Star Woolen Mill that was in operation until
1949, but has been made into condo lofts.

An Early Red Sox Post Mortem

Well, the All-Star Game will be played at Target Field tomorrow night, and although the game is the ceremonial halfway point, the timing is right to do a post mortem on the Red Sox season. Some may call me fair-weathered, but at 43-52, 9.5 games out of first place, and showing few signs of going on a tear, I have little hope I will be enjoying October baseball as much as I did last year.

Not all the news is bad.  The Red Sox made a solid start prior to the trade deadline by excising a clubhouse cancer; true addition by subtraction.

I believe Pierzynski is Polish for "peckerhead."

All the euphoria of the 2013 World Series run was tempered by the appearance of A.J. Pierzynski during the telecast of one of the games at Fenway.  There was already talk of Jarrod Saltalamacchia not re-signing with the Red Sox, and seeing AJ in the booth with little reason brought a foreboding sense of doom. I eventually accepted the fact Salty wouldn't be with the Red Sox, but had hopes he would show up to my benefit.

Little time passed before I learned what I hope wouldn't happen, did. I still had some faith the Red Sox, a team of professionals, would be able to find a workaround to having AJ as the team's primary catcher. Other than Salty and Jacoby Ellsbury, most of the key players were returning. I chose to take a wait-and-see approach, but would have little patience if things turned sour.

The Red Sox have a lot of things to work on offensively that can't solely be blamed on Pierzynski. I do think a key component to a successful baseball team is having an established catcher. The Red Sox had Varitek for many years and were very successful when he was on the team. One of the worst seasons during his stint was when he was out with an injury. Saltalamacchia was acquired in 2010, survived the crash of 2011, the lost Valentine year of 2012, and was the primary catcher of 2013. When the Red Sox signed AJ, Ben Cherington should have announced 2014 was a bridge year, in spite of the fact the team would be defending World Champions.

365 in 365 for 2014: Images 083 through 089

I'm on a pretty good blogging kick right now, so I'll bang out the month of March for my picture series.  I had my first business trip during the month and flew down to Memphis. The trip wasn't one I planned and I took it to satisfy a requirement from my general manager. It was a trip from hell as I missed connections and had to spend the night in Chicago on the return. I should write more about that as the story is amusing, now that I'm four months removed from it. I'll do what I can to break out the monotony of picture posts with other interesting factoids that happened to me.  Maybe I'll write about that one time I saw a blimp!

No. 83:  03-24-2014

A picture from outside of Graceland.  I need a camera that
takes better pictures at night.

No. 084:  03-25-2014

A street car on Main Street in downtown Memphis.

No. 085:  03-26-2014

A lighthouse near Boom Island in Minneapolis.  The old
Grain Belt brewery is in the background.

No. 086:  03-27-2014

This is a cut-through under a building in downtown Minneapolis.
It saves people from having to walk around the full block.

No. 087:  03-28-2014

A faux facade in an area where the buildings were converted
to medium to high end condos.  Seems to be the way of things
in downtown Minneapolis.

No. 088:  03-29-2014

The Wife and birthday gal in-between stops during a night
full of celebrations.

No. 089:  03-30-2014

The Captain and his First Mate.

365 in 365 for 2014: Images 076 through 082

Chris Kuball isn't the only person who can ruin a summer day with reminders of winter. Here is my next series of pictures from back in March.

No. 076:  03-17-2014

There used to be a large building that blocked the view of the
highway.  The view will be blocked again when the St. Paul Saints
have their new ballpark in 2015.

No. 077:  03-18-2014

An old brick building in downtown Minneapolis.

No. 078:  03-19-2014

The new Green Line light rail going through the U of M campus,

No. 079:  03-20-2014

The slowly melting Mississippi River.

No. 080:  03-21-2014

The slowly thawing downtown St. Paul.

No. 081:  03-22-2014

A quick freeze after a thaw creates a skating rink at
the Battle Creek dog park.

No. 082:  03-23-2014

A beacon in Mounds View for the small,
regional St. Paul airport.

For One Week, The "Happiest Place on Earth" Wasn't

Well, it's Sunday and a full week back from my vacation.  Having a four day work week to get back into the swing of things would have been just the way I would have drawn it up if I actually planned it.  We had an absolutely gorgeous July 4th weekend, most of which was spent outside doing yard work. Yet another storm rolled in the early hours this morning, and left a small amount of rain, but the day is hot and muggy and perfect for staying indoors for things like laundry and blogging.

The first half of my vacation started on Thursday and was spent in Orlando to attend the AAU National Tournament for G-Bug's volleyball team. We would probably have enjoyed being in Orlando more if the tournament was held in February, like the one in Wisconsin Dells, but the Orange County Convention Center was a nice place to be to get out of the mid-90 degree heat.

I had given my family the heads-up on the tournament months in advance, envisioning the trip would be a good way for all of us to get together this year. My brother and his family stayed the whole week we were there, while my mom was in town from Thursday to Monday.  As an added bonus, my aunt and uncle, who live in the Palm Beach area, drove into town for the weekend.  The tournament ran from Saturday afternoon until Tuesday, so there were a couple of "free" days for G-Bug, although she was required to stay with her team.

Our crew had rented two two-bedroom condos at Lake Buena Vista Resort.  My mom stayed with my brother's family while G-Bug's mom stayed with the Wife and me. Let me repeat that for effect, I was staying in a two-bedroom condo with my wife and ex-wife. Fortunately, the master bedroom and bath were on one side of the condo and a second bedroom and bathroom were on the other side, so we were able to stay out of each other's way.

The first night we all went out for a group dinner, G-Bug's mom included.  We tried to go to Downtown Disney, but we followed the cones and traffic attendants in an elaborate loop that got us back to the main road we took to get into downtown.  We settled on Landry's Seafood House, which, as a second choice, was pretty nice.  Our waitress was a sour prune and put on the hard sell to buy member cards to other restaurants or theme parks, but we declined. The food was excellent, as I had a crab stuffed Mahi and the Wife had a Cedar Planked Salmon.

We were finished with dinner after 10p and we tried to make our way back to the resort. I had followed my brother in our rental car to get to the restaurant and with the detour around the crowded Downtown Disney, I had lost my bearings. I wanted to follow him back to the resort and be there before 11p as we all could visit G-Bug before curfew. Mom had said it was just a couple of lefts to get there, so we chanced it on our own.  The roads were still busy with traffic and the stop lights off the main road only allowed a couple cars to go through before changing. I was gunning through "pinks" (just turned reds) by the third light.

We saw a building with 'Lake Buena Vista' on the side, but the building was a different resort.  I pulled into the parking lot, but was confused by the traffic cones by the entrance, as our resort didn't have any construction near it. We made a U-turn and I waited for a break in the traffic to get back on the highway.  Once on the road, I quickly realized I didn't see any of the landmarks that were close to our resort.  The signs for the airport confirmed we were headed the wrong way.

My biggest pet peeve is stupidity. I have little patience when others exhibit it and get very angry with myself when I do. Plus, a clock was ticking in my head to get back in time to see G-Bug.  Needless to say, when I asked my three passengers for help with directions, I used some serious invective and my foot became leaden.  And let me confirm for effect, I had my mom, wife, and ex-wife in the car with me. The directions were a back-up, now that I knew what road we were traveling. I knew once we turned around I would be able to find my way again. When we dropped off mom at her condo, my brother's family had already gone to bed and we only had a few minutes to see G-Bug. We decided to pass on a visit with her.

365 in 365 for 2014: Images 069 through 075

It seems odd to be posting pictures from back in March, especially having returned from a Summer vacation in Orlando, but that's the price you pay for "postcrastinating."  That's a new term I coined for putting off updating one's blog.

At any rate, a few weeks ago my buddy invited me to hang out around a bonfire at his place with his family.  I was in between business trips to LA and Houston and it was almost a month since we had even spoken to one anther. The Wife joined me, but had to work the next day, so we couldn't get as crazy as we normally would. My buddy and I took a trip to the corner store for a chord of wood and on our return, we ran into one of his neighbors. He was going to be watching playoff hockey in his garage with his wife, which seemed too tempting to pass. After getting the fire started for our better halves and a couple beers, we wondered across the street.

As I may have documented, spring in Minnesota has been as precipitation-filled as the winter.  The evening of the bonfire was a nice break from incessant rain the last couple weeks, but the topic of conversation eventually turned to the horrors of the winter and the God-awful shoveling, plowing, and snow blowing we endured.  THAT'S how bad the winter was - insisting upon itself in the minds of Minnesotans months later.  And like that bitter season, I couldn't wait to escape the verbal summary.

So, in that vein, here are the pictures, truly taken in March; although some of you may think these were taken more recently.

No. 069:  03-10-2014

The frozen Mississippi River under the Fairview Riverside
Hospital, where G-Bug was born

No.070:  03-11-2014

Upriver from Fairview Riverside is the Southwest Steam Plant.

No. 071:  03-12-2014

The Stone Arch Bridge from a vantage point downriver.

No. 072:  03-13-2014

A couple college students on the hunt for Pennywise the Clown.

No. 073:  03-14-2014

Did you know the town of Mounds View near St. Paul is named
for a series of burial mounds on the bluff overlooking the river?
You do now.

No. 074:  03-15-2014

A picture both whimsical and disturbing.

No. 075:  03-16-2014

A gray sky above a grayer river.

"He's One Bad Mother . . ." "Shut Yo' Mouth!" "I'm Just Talkin' 'bout The Ghost of Dick Clark."

It's almost May, the overnight temperatures are in the low 30's and we're getting rain mixed with snow.  The long, arduous winter has become a chilly, miserable spring.  What better time to reminisce on a Cabin Fever Crusher from February?

I had made the decision to retire my most inappropriate impression of a post-stroke Dick Clark after this party.  This was not an impression I was proud of, and would rarely perform sober, and was a reaction to the painful awkwardness we were all subjected to every New Year's Eve since his stroke in 2004.  I can understand bringing him back the following year to show he is doing well, but allow him to retire to convalesce privately. Kirk Douglas is still doing his thing, but you don't see him shuffling out every Oscars.

At any rate, I did the impression in front of our standard group of friends to start 2014, mostly at the encouraging of my wife.  The bad mojo caught her first as she spent her first weekend of the New Year in the hospital with an abscess tooth that caused her cheek and lips to swell to a shocking degree.  The fear was the swelling could have gotten into her throat and blocked her airway.  I didn't heed the warning.

We arrived at the Crusher at the more reasonable dinner hour, bringing a bag of random beers and partial bottles of alcohol.  I took this opportunity to bring my bottle of coffee flavored Patron I was "gifted" at a distributor event in Dallas.  We also brought a bottle of Bailey's to make baby Guinnesses - a shot I learned while there.  We didn't bring a crock pot of food, but several others did, so we sampled a variety of foods with a variety of drinks.

Once everyone was fully in party mode, we broke out the game Cards Against Humanity. If there is one game you need to get, it's this one.  It's essentially "Apples to Apples" for adults, as evidenced by this exchange:

Partygoer:  How do you play? 

Me:  It's like "Apples to Apples" for adults. 

Partygoer:  What do you mean? 

Me:  Well, look at this card.  It says "jizz" on it.  No, wait.  It says "jazz."

Me:  (squinting) No, I was right the first time.  It's "jizz."

By far, the best play of the night was when the prompt card read "I've decided to give up *blank* for Lent" and an unlikely source played a card reading "farting and walking away." I went through the motions of reading the other cards, but I had already chosen my winner. The more bawdy cards freed up people to discuss sexual topics, including the difference between The Shocker and The Spocker.

Once the sex talk devolved into awkward silences, someone mercifully suggested we go sledding.  Fortunately, there were only a few of us foolhardy enough to go, leaving plenty of next of kin and organ donors.  The sledding group piled into one car and headed to a nearby golf course.  Once I saw a couple people head down on a toboggan, I decided it was safe enough for me.

I went solo on the red plank of death seen in the photo above and felt I reached speeds that wouldn't have been safe in a school zone.  I put my feet out to slow my progress, but hit the first bump that sent a lightening bolt of pain from my coccyx to the top of my head.  I started to yell "Ow!  That really hurt!" when I hit the second bump at "that." Drunken stories of my exploits later that night had me spitting blood with rivulets running down my face.  Unfortunately, tales of my badassery were greatly exaggerated, but the ghost of Dick Clark had struck again.

I pretty much called it quits after my one run.  The other sledders were getting ready to leave, so I decided to have one last try on the slope opposite the big hill. This was less steep and with virgin snow.  As I started my decent, the one young woman in our group shouted, "keep your tongue in your mouth!"  A disappointing statement to hear from a lady, no matter what the context.  I just wish I had the wherewithal to retort, "that's NOT what she said."

Back home, we nursed our respective injuries with food and alcohol.  "Cards Against Humanity" had been changed to "Scattergories."  The game had changed, but not the tone. It was amazing how many people had thought of 'nipples' and 'nuts' when the letter 'N' was drawn.  When both my clothes and liver had dried a bit, we decided to head home. I made a quick pit stop before leaving and forgot to zip up, which was quickly pointed out to me.  It reminded me of a song:

Everybody have fun tonight;

Captain's wang hung out tonight.