Football Just Isn't My Game

In so many ways.

I was a scrawny youth and was typically picked on by the football players in high school. And the hockey players.  And the wrestlers.  Some members of the tennis team.  As I got older, I would attend my alma mater's home games (JMU won the Div I-AA championship in 2004, an event I watched on ESPN2 while in Phoenix) and watch the pros on TV Sundays and Mondays, mostly for the social aspect (i.e. recovering from hangovers with my college friends).

My choice of pro teams to root for varied.  My first favorite team was the Pittsburgh Steelers, mostly because they had won the most Super Bowls at the time.  Being a front runner fan doesn't take a lot of sophistication.  Growing up in Connecticut, I had a choice of the Patriots, Jets, and Giants.  My Dad liked Phil Simms and Bill Parcells of the Giants, so I followed his lead.  I started cheering for the Saints when they had their top linebacker core.  After college, I didn't spend much time following football.  I was living in Boston when the Patriots got Drew Bledsoe, but moved to Minnesota a few months later; and where I've been living for 17 years as of next month.  I think of the Vikings as the football equivalent to the pre-2004 Red Sox; mostly bad to mediocre seasons with some good ones mixed in, and constantly shooting themselves in the foot when they are good enough to get to the championship.

My lack of attention didn't stop me from participating in various football pools at work and I've been part of a family one (the Wifey's family) for the last four years.  I was the top dog for one season in that pool, but haven't been tearing it up otherwise.  I was eager to try Fantasy Football in my buddy's league and the family pool was re-upped for the 2013-14 season.

I got off to a cold start for the first week.  The Seahawks didn't play very well that week and my top Running Back and Wide Receiver are from this team.  My Tight End got more fantasy points than the two of them combined.  I lost the first game of the season 166-127.  In the process, I lost a couple players due to injury and there weren't a lot of options available for replacement.

As for the football pool, I made a bold prediction in the Smack Talk section, saying I was going to know so much about football because of my Fantasy team that I would need to start a regimen of squat thrusts considering the constant view of my behind everyone else was going to have.  The range of correct picks in the pool ranged from 13 to 4.  I got 6, so I was toward the bottom of the standings.

I will use the sports cliche that there is still a lot of football to play yet.

Does Being A Bowling League Treasurer & Secretary Look Good On A Resume?

A better question is:  does pulling funds from my retirement account to buy my own ball and shoes constitute sound financial planning?

I mean, who hasn't dreamed about becoming a professional bowling and poker player? Just me?

The new bowling season started on Thursday, September 5 and due to sinking $300 in car repairs, I was reduced to using a house ball and shoes . . . again!  My duties as Treasurer & Secretary not only include taking dues and filing paperwork, but it apparently also includes advising newcomers how to keep score and where the bathrooms are, as well as directing captains what they should do when a player doesn't show up.  I have to bite my tongue before saying, "get a better captain."

So, as G-Bug uses her height to her advantage for her JV volleyball team, I will use my ability to drink beer as an advantage to roll a ball.  I'm using a heavier ball now (14lbs - I already told you about my limp wrist!) to train for when I do get my own ball.  I'm going to use the first month as my spring training to get into game shape.  After the last week I had, there is definitely room for improvement. Never have I thrown so many first balls into the gutter.

Game 1
8-, S51, 9/, 8/, 0/, 6/, 9-, 9-, X, 08 = 121

Game 2
63, S81, 81, S7-, X, 9/, 9-, 8/, 72, S7- = 115

Game 3
09, 9/, S7-, S8-, 09, X, X, 9/, X, 8/8 = 147

Series Total:  383
Series Avg.:  127
Est Hdcp.:  67

Cape Cod Vacation: The Saga Continues

Friday.  Saturday. Sunday. Monday.  Okay, I'm just about halfway complete with documenting the one vacation I took this summer.  Although we lost the youngest of the adult members of our family when my sister headed home, we still had lots of fun things to see and do.

The agenda for Tuesday was to travel to P-Town (Provincetown to the uninitiated) to do some shopping and top notch people watching.  P-Town is a Mecca for the LGBT community and draws all sorts of artists, writers, poets, entertainers, and people who just don't give a shit about what people think of them anymore, as well as their patrons and gawkers.  It's a small seaside town, but packed to the gills with people.

But first, we had a family game morning at the kitchen table.  My brother and his family like to play the board game Dixit.  This is essentially a cross between Apples To Apples and Balderdash.  Each player gets a turn to "tell a story," which could be a phrase, gesture, or sound.  All players have a hand of cards with pictures on them and each puts in the best match for the story.  Players can earn points by selecting the card the storyteller played or having other players select his/her offering.  Each player has a game piece that marks the number of points earned until someone reaches the end and wins.  The rules are simple enough that G-Bug and my nephews were all able to play.  Although the oldest, I probably had the least mature story, as I went with "who farted?"  The accompanying pictures from all the players made the story hilarious.

Around lunchtime we headed to P-Town.  The day was one of the hottest of the trip with bright sun and blue sky.  There was a long line of cars at the first turn off the highway into town so we traveled on to the next light.  This took us by our usual parking lot we use when we visit, but the lot was already full.  We headed toward the tower and circled the area until we lucked out and found a spot someone had just vacated.  We were just two blocks away from the main drag (considering this was P-Town I feel obligated to say "no pun intended").  We met the rest of our group across the street from a Pilgrim memorial.

We did a little bit of window shopping as we made a slow progress down Commercial Street.  The streets were jammed with people, bicyclists, and the occasional car or service van.  A short time passed before we were starting to get hungry, so we made our way to a small food court nearby.  Everyone had a different taste in mind for lunch, so each person went to his/her choice and we met on a deck overlooking the water.  There was a bar on the deck and my brother, the Wifey, and I got a beer.  I just had a bowl of clam chowder for lunch while others got chicken, burritos or hamburgers.  We were able to get a table with an open umbrella to shade us and allow us to enjoy the view.

We did more active shopping after lunch.  There were a couple boutique-style stores that G-Bug liked and she bought a shirt at one store.  My brother bought her some perfume at this store as a birthday gift.  Also at this store was an artist's portfolio which contained several drawings of men (one endowed with what looked like a fence post) in various stages of "relations."  My oldest nephew flipped through a few pages with a look of shock on his face.  I told him he should probably just close the book.  Unlike most instruction, he followed this one immediately.

We only toured a small section of Commercial Street before the heat and humidity started to take their toil.  We had to make one more stop at Cuffy's, the true indicator of a successful Cape Cod trip.  On every trip to the Cape, my family had stopped at this store to get a sweatshirt or T-shirt.  My closet holds 4 or 5 sweatshirts and my dresser is filled with twice as many T-shirts, but I opted for one more T-shirt this trip.  I found a nice gray one for Cape League baseball.  One of the best things about Cuffy's shirts is they are ready to wear soft right off the shelf.  Most souvenir shop shirts feel scratchy to me and I have to wash them before wearing them.  We stopped at Twisted Pizza and Ice Cream before heading home.

We had a couple hours to rest and freshen up before the couples headed out for a night of their own.  The Tutus agreed to watch the kids while the parents had a chance to whoop it up.  Our evening started at the Wicked Oyster, a fancy restaurant located in Wellfleet. We showed up a little early for our 7:30 reservations, but they were able to accommodate us.  We had a round of drinks before dinner and another round during.  Knowing we were going to close our Cape vacation with a lobster dinner, I stayed away from most of the seafood.  I finally settled on the duck trio.  It was very good, but too much food, and I had to leave some on my plate.

365 in 365: Images 168 through 174

The Wifey and I were able to ring in the summer this year by traveling to Chicago for her cousin's wedding.  On the way there, we witnessed what was my first "real live" accident on the highway.  We had just gotten onto the toll road where construction had narrowed the lanes.  A GMC SUV was trying to merge with traffic from an on-ramp and made no effort to change speed or course to accommodate the semi one car ahead of us. The SUV collided with the back end of the trailer, making it bounce.  The car in front of us braked hard and I worried we would rear end it.  

We managed to get into the next lane and saw the damage to the SUV.  The side view mirror dangled like a partially severed limb and the left front tire was flat. The driver side window had spider-webbed and we couldn't see the driver as the side air bag had deployed.  The front bumper was also missing.  We did our best by calling 9-1-1 to report the accident and further down the road we saw the car who was in front of us had pulled over behind the truck that had the accident. The driver had his head in his hand as he spoke with someone on his cell phone. The driver probably knew he had an accident, but there was no shoulder to speak of for miles where it happened and he couldn't pull over right away.

I swear I've seen a lot of things in my life, but THAT . . . WAS . . . AWESOME! Sorry about your car, dude.  That sucks.

No. 168:  06-17-2013 (placeholder)

The buildings of St. Anthony Main

No. 169:  06-18-2013

Gorgeous sunset from McKnight Road in St. Paul

No. 170:  06-19-2013 (placeholder)

Sailboats on Lake Calhoun

No. 171:  06-20-2013

Night time at St. Paul's Cathedral

No. 172:  06-21-2013 Summer Solstice

We didn't do sightseeing in Chicago until the Sunday after the
start of Summer.

No. 173:  06-22-2013 (placeholder)

We hit the Navy Pier as part of our tour

No. 174:  06-23-2013

Although the family looks like they were posing for me, they were
not part of our group.

365 in 365: Images 161 through 167

The weather is growing cooler in Minnesota now that's its September and summer is winding down.  On the plus side, I can relive my summer by posting a week's worth of pictures for the next couple of weeks.  Where has the time gone?  Truth be told, September and October are my favorite months of the year, so I'm really looking forward to the next few weeks.  But first, let's review what I saw at the beginning of June.

No. 161:  06-10-2013 (placeholder)

Better than the hand painted panel vans I see cruising in my
neighborhood.  Like the throwback look.

No. 162:  06-11-2013

Summer is here once the ice and dead fish are replaced by
lily pads on Beaver Lake.  Giggity!

No. 163:  06-12-2013 (placeholder)

Part of the North Loop neighborhood of Minneapolis

No. 164:  06-13-2013

Sunset over the Mississippi River

No. 165:  06-14-2013

The Grain Belt Beer sign is actually on a high school's grounds.
The compromise to tearing it down is never lighting it up.

No. 166:  06-15-2013

A classic car showing as part of the Father Hennepin Park Art Fair

No. 167:  06-16-2013 Father's Day

A wonderfully bright, warm day to celebrate being a Dad

Introducing Your 2013-14 Minnesota Frozen Boogers! (And the crowd goes wild)

Don't let the beard fool you.  I'm a child.

Speaking of such, my childhood friend, Rob, who you all met during our Las Vegas Birthday Bash Weekend back in May 2011 (has it really been that long?!), invited me to join the Fantasy Football league he participates with a group of his friends in Connecticut.  He played last year and had a lot of fun with it, and thought I would like to join.  They were going to have a live draft on Sunday, August 25th.

Baseball has always been my game, and I had participated in fantasy leagues through Yahoo for a number of years, but nothing in the last six years or so.  I tried fantasy football once when G-Bug was still an infant.  Considering I didn't have a low level distraction (this blog being more intense and harder to stay current) and missed the chance to meet up with Rob when I was back east on vacation, I agreed to be a part of this league.  I had a couple days to get up to speed before the draft.

My first foray into fantasy sports was when I worked for a small marketing firm filled with recent college grads; very similar to my Winners Advertising job, the company name was Innova Marketing.  I was 29 years old and definitely of the "old guard."  I was invited to participate with several co-workers in a live draft for baseball using just National League players.  Every "team" had a pretend budget of $250 or so and as each player was announced, interested fantasy owners would put in bids.  The player would go to the highest bidder.  What could happen is an owner could "buy" a franchise player, like Mark McGuire in his heyday, for $60-$70 and then have to settle for lesser known players later on, getting them for $1-$2.  The process took several hours, usually delayed by bidding wars.

One such jackal would up his bid by $1 right at "going once, going twice . . ." intentionally getting owners to pony up a couple extra dollars to drain his budget for later rounds.  I thought I was annoyed with him then, but his offense was quickly forgotten when he gave me my walking papers at work right before the start of the baseball season.  I had to manage my team via email with former co-workers.  My team came in dead last.

This draft would be much easier.  There were 12 owners taking 16 rounds to draft a quarterback, two running backs, two wide receivers, a tight end, a kicker, a flex player, a team defense, and seven bench players.  There would be no bidding.  Every owner had a position number for the draft and the order would reverse itself each round.  The owner who picked first in the first round, would pick last in the second, first again in the third, etc. until all teams had sixteen players.  Rob would have me on the phone during the draft and let me know who was left and when it was my turn to pick.  My position number was six.

I don't follow football too closely and have rudimentary knowledge of the top names in the game.  I can probably name five players on the Vikings today.  I reviewed the Fantasy Draft lists on ESPN and checked out some videos.  One such video suggested getting running backs in your first two rounds due to the paucity of quality players at this position. Rather than print lists for each position, I went the route of printing the list ranking the top 300 players in all positions.  I saw the top 10 kickers were grouped together starting at position 150, so I knew I should chose one in later rounds.

I marked each group of 12 players going through the first 192.  Adrian Peterson - MN -RB1 was the number one overall pick and Adrian Foster - HOU - RB2 was second.  I figured they would be the first to go, so I didn't concentrate on them, but I also knew I would get at least one player in each group as owners made their selections.  I chose four players in each group of 12 and ranked them based on who I really wanted.  I had to be prepared should my first and second choices already be picked.  I felt I had a pretty good game plan as I went into the draft.

As it turns out, you can only plan so much.  Once the draft starts, you're in scramble mode. I was right that the first five owners selected players within the top 12.  In this group were 10 running backs (supporting the recommendation I heard in the video), 1 wide receiver (Calvin Johnson - DET - WR1), and 1 quarterback (Aaron Rodgers - GB -QB1).  I had missed the first few picks, so I went with my third choice of the round, Doug Martin - TB - RB5).  He was already picked.  Oh shit! I could already feel myself start to panic and went with my first choice for the first round, Marshawn Lynch - SEA - RB3 (3 overall).  He was still available.  Whew!

As the other owners picked and Rob told me who was gone, I heard many players I had selected for my subsequent rounds.  Peyton Manning, Dez Bryant, Andre Johnson, and that classic of football names, Frank Gore.  I also heard top names in other categories getting picked as well.  Drew Brees, Matt Forte, Brandon Marshall, Tom Brady, Jimmy Graham.

My second round pick was number 13 in the top 300:  AJ Green - CIN - WR2.

I listened as more players I wanted were getting snapped up by other owners.  Wes Welker, Robert Griffen III, Reggie Bush, Eric Decker.

Hearing how quickly quarterbacks were being picked and my top three picks were already gone, I went with a pick that I wasn't considering, but knew he was pretty high on the list.  I needed a top field general, even if it wasn't one of my top choices.  Matt Ryan - ATL - QB6 (43)

More players I wanted were being picked.  As I crossed off names from the list of 300, I was scanning to see the top players remaining in each position.  I had an RB, WR, and QB. I needed a TE.  I selected Tony Gonzalez - ATL - TE3 (57).

The rounds were starting to slow down as I pictured my fellow owners doing the same thing I was; crossing off names and seeing who was left.  I was still relying on some name recognition as I scanned my list and found players I wanted, but were soon picked. Marques Colston, Jason Witten, Ahmad Bradshaw, Sebastian Janikowski.  Janikowski?! This last one was a kicker and number 9 at his position, 158 overall.  Like breaking hearts for the first time in the card game, this gave others permission to start considering kickers for picks, although we were still in relative early rounds.  Similarly, once someone had picked a defense, that position started to come into play in the selections.

I held out a couple rounds before going for a kicker and defense.  I wanted to get more players who I felt would offer more in terms of points.  I picked up Shane Vereen - NE - RB32 (80) and Sidney Rice - SEA - WR33 (81).  As we got to the later rounds and owners were looking for "bench" players, the names were coming from all over the top 300 list.  I filled roster spots where I felt I needed help and knew by Round 14 who my 16th and final pick would be.  This would be a rookie wide receiver on the Vikings who I had read about when doing some research on the team.  He was number 70 for his position, 214 overall and I knew I could wait to pick him.  When it was my turn, I announced my final pick: Cordarrelle Patterson - MN - WR70.

I couldn't hear everything that was happening on site and had to rely on Rob to relay information to me.  Once I made this pick, however, I heard a loud grown of despair. Apparently another owner was going to use his last pick on Patterson as well, but I beat him to the punch.  I almost feel obligated to put him in my Flex position for Week 1.

Here is my full roster:
Quarterbacks
Matt Ryan - HOU - QB6/43
Ben Roethlisberger - PIT - QB14/97

Running Backs
Marshawn Lynch - SEA - RB3/3
Eddie Lacy - GB - RB19/37
Shane Vereen - NE - RB32/80
Shonn Green - TEN - RB48/129

Wide Receivers
A.J. Green - CIN - WR2/13
Sidney Rice - SEA - WR33/81
Chris Givens - STL - WR41/105
Santana Moss - WAS - WR58/175
Cordarrelle Patterson - MN - WR70/214

Tight Ends
Tony Gonzalez - ATL - TE3/57
Brandon Pettigrew - DET - TE14/140
Coby Fleener - IND - TE17/183

Kicker
Blair Walsh - MN - K2/151

Defense
Denver Broncos D/ST - DEF7/143 

365 in 365: Images 154 through 160

I was having trouble coming up with ideas for photos everyday for my 365 in 365 project, as all the placeholders can attest, but figured a good way to keep me focused was to come up with "theme weeks."  If I was truly stuck on where to take photos, I could use a theme week idea to find opportunities.  I could take pictures of all the places I've lived in Minnesota, or places seen in television and movies, or converted firehouses.  I just needed to have 5-7 places to complete the theme.

This week of pictures centers around the Irvine Park area of St. Paul.  This is a small neighborhood with some Victorian houses surrounding a central square, tucked into an enclave not far from the Science Museum.  The area sits on a bluff overlooking some railroad tracks between Shepard Road and 7th Avenue.  It's a tranquil area a block away from the hustle and bustle of the city.

No. 154:  06-03-2013

The fountain originally installed in 1881 for $900 was scrapped, but
when the area was redone after 1970, a new one was put in place.

No. 155:  06-04-2013

The gazebo that holds 10 people and can be rented for weddings
and other special occasions

No. 156:  06-05-2013

The most dominant house on the block, the Murray-Lanpher House

No. 157:  06-06-2013

The Forepaughs House, now a high-end restaurant

No. 158:  06-07-2013

If the pick-up wasn't there, you could expect to see a horse drawn
cart to roll down the street.

No. 159:  06-08-2013

Trees in the front of this house blocked my shot, so I took a picture
from the street by the alley. 

No.160:  06-09-2013

Damn trees again!  This is a picture of Alexander Ramsey House.
Ramsey was the first governor of the Minnesota Territory and the
second governor of the state of Minnesota

Cape Cod Vacation: The Next Day(s)

I apologize for not keeping up with my stories from the Cape, as I was rudely interrupted by a business trip to Houston and Dallas.  I was able to get some pictures from my travels there, so be sure to keep your eyes open for those weeks of photos some time in November.  When we last left our heroes, one of them was wearing a dead horseshoe crab as a helmet.

The picture above is the cottage we stayed, taken from the backyard.  One item I forgot to mention was the presence of numerous signs which caused dread and trepidation to all who read them:

No, not the one above.  This one:

We already had a bad experience with aged, Cape Cod cottage plumbing during our last vacation, and much like Chief Brody in Jaws 2, we didn't intend to go through that hell again.

We started the day at nearby Skaket Beach, eagerly anticipating the arrival of my sister. She was in the middle of completing her work for her Master's degree and couldn't take a lot of time for vacation, but she wanted to see us and figured the weekend would be the best time.  She planned to stay overnight until Monday and then head back home to Hartford.

Skaket Beach is your basic bayside beach.  Although having regular tides, there isn't the kind of waves you would see on the Atlantic side.  In fact, they're more like ripples than waves.  The water is warmer and the sand is pretty smooth once you get past the crushed shells and rocks at the breakwater.  Our time was spent playing with a football and squirt guns during high tide and hunting hermit crabs and snails at low tide.  Once word got around that my sister arrived, we packed up our things and headed home.

Back at the cottage, we created a family ping pong competition, starting with pool play. The players were the Wifey, G-Bug, my sister & brother, and me.  Everyone had to play each other once to determine seeding for the tournament.  It quickly became obvious that the Wifey and my brother were the two odds-on favorites to win the tournament.  I held my own against both, going deep into games, past 21 points, eventually to lose by two. We never got to tournament play to determine the true winner.

That night was deemed by the Wifey as our night to prepare the family dinner. In truth, my contribution was minimal, although I did cut the garlic bread (not as easy as it sounds) and did the heavy lifting of getting the massive salmon off the grill and onto the table. There was a big communal salad and other sides as well. The Wifey got huge compliments for putting the dinner together, but was something I had gotten used to.  My wife is a master at putting together a delicious salad.  If you haven't had one, you're missing out!  I completed my duties by clearing the table and rinsing the dishes.

After dinner, my sister suggested we change the format of pong to include beer. We had participation from unlikely sources, including my mom and my oldest nephew.  His and G-Bug's cups were filled with soda, but caffeine is like alcohol to youngsters, so the result was the same.  In a surprising twist, my mom beat my sister at beer pong.  I found I didn't have patience for the game, as it took too long to score any points, and take a drink.  I preferred to watch the last game of the series between the Red Sox and Yankees, an 11-inning affair won by a Napoli walk-off home run.

The next morning was a throwback to our childhood.  I woke up in the late morning to find my brother and sister playing cribbage, a game our father taught us as kids.  Once they finished their game, I was dealt into the next two.  It was a barn burner for a while until I started to suck wind with a constant series of 4 point hands and cribs.  My brother and sister would bang out a dozen points or more in some hands, leaving me hoping for the skunk line.  My sister was more successful at playing cribbage than pong (ping or beer), squeaking out a victory in both games, by 1 point, then by 3 over my brother.  I was an "also ran," getting skunked in the second game.

I'm About A Year Away From Yelling At Kids To Get Off My Lawn

During the week, my body had already said "screw this shit" by forming a stress knot in between my shoulder blades on Tuesday night and suffering from a debilitating migraine on Wednesday. Thursday was the culmination of a series of frustrations that finally reached a boiling point.

After a Happy Hour with some co-workers, I took a scenic route home through Minneapolis.  I found myself at my usual haunt, following the west river road past the Mill City ruins.  I got behind a car with North Dakota plates and had to grit my teeth as he took a deliberate pace along the road, as in deliberately trying to piss me off.  As he slowed to watch people taking Senior or engagement photos, I finally let him have it with my horn. He was unmoved.  He continued his snail's progress, not gaining any ground on another slow mover ahead of him.  Seeing as sound didn't reach him, I decided to see how close I could get to his back bumper before he was encouraged to speed up.  He would accept no encouragement.

For those who don't know, the roads on either side of the river are basically two lane residential streets with walking/biking path on one side and a sidewalk on the other. There are sections with hills and switchbacks and the speed limit is 25mph.  There are areas for passing, but most of the time there is a double yellow line in the middle of the road.

Having had enough, I gunned my engine, hit my turn signal, raced past both the North Dakota yahoo and the slug ahead of him, making sure my one finger salute was at full staff as I quickly ducked back into the lane in front of an oncoming car.  As I looked in my rearview, I could see a line of cars forming behind my nemesis.  I remained unsatisfied.

Less than a mile from where I passed the slowpokes, there is a parking lot for riverboat cruises.  Feeling unfulfilled with the finger flicking, I needed to see what these idiots looked like.  I parked my car and, knowing I had time, ambled up the embankment to the walking/biking path.  I only took a couple of steps before seeing another car whip around the lead moron like I did.  I was glad to see I wasn't the only one.  Sure enough, this was an old couple driving a Mercedes station wagon with the windows down.  I shouted something about being a nuisance and then saw the same North Dakota driver following behind.  His window was also open.  "That fucking goes for you, too!"  The look on his face told me he must have thought I was released from a halfway house and now I was shouting at random passersby.  There are a few people like that, but another couple miles down the road.

Minneapolis' Center of Sorrow

Last week was a difficult one for the Stone Arch Bridge area of Minneapolis, where a tragedy and a mishap had thrown a pall over an otherwise idyllic location.  Any peruser of my picture posts will know I like to frequent this area for photos.  The recent events brought me back to the area and as I looked around, I realized there has been "negative energy" in every direction.  Let's review.

1.) We'll start with the the most recent and surreal mishap.

On Thursday, August 15, a PedalPub turned over making a "high speed" turn between 1st Street and 5th Avenue.  Remarkably, there were no fatalities, but two people were taken by stretcher to the Hennepin County Medical Center for their injuries.  Reactions have been mixed. 

2.) The turned over PedalPub was a crushed beer can throw away from the scene of a true tragedy.

Darron Luhrsen, 26, drove his Pontiac Sunfire through a fence just a few yards north of the Upper St. Anthony Lock & Dam and the Stone Arch Bridge on Monday, August 12. Authorities are still investigating, but driving a Pontiac Sunfire could have been a contributing factor.

3.) The Stone Arch Bridge isn't just a witness to tragedy, but has also been a participant, as evidenced by this Romeo and Juliet couple on May 14, 2013.  An 18-year-old boy and his 16-year-old girlfriend from western Wisconsin went missing and then days later jumped from the bridge.

4.) Within four days of this joint suicide, a special education teacher in Roseville, jumped from the Hennepin Avenue Bridge after being released from his arrest for DUI.

5.) Captain Greybeard's family hasn't been immune to the negative vibes emanating from the Stone Arch Bridge region.  A few years ago, my father-in-law (FIL) and his wife visited us for a long weekend.  One of the MANY activities that weekend was a Segway tour around the Mill City ruins.  We started on the east side of the river, crossed the Stone Arch Bridge, and traveled around the ruins and up the west River Road.

All was well for the first half of the tour.  We got a little bit of the area's flour mill history and successfully negotiated around the walkers, runners, bikers, and steep grades by the river side.  We took a break at the Mill City ruins, where we had a snack of a cookie and drink (non-alcoholic).  We re-mounted and headed north on the River Road.  I was toward the back of the group when I heard my FIL's wife say in playful warning, "it looks like you're getting a little close there."  I didn't think much of the comment until I saw an older man get pitched headlong onto the grass next to the sidewalk.  My first thought was a shocked "oh geez," until I realized it was my FIL, and then it was a horrified "OH JEEZ!"  Apparently my wife and he had traded paint and both had fallen from their mounts.  Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt, outside of their prides, and a large, purple bruise my FIL told us about later.