Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear

In the beginning of ‘Eight Mile,’ Eminem is seen vomiting in the bathroom from nervousness in anticipation of his rap battle.  I, on the other hand, had the hard boiled eggs with breakfast repeat on me before my impending participation in a Texas Hold’Em poker tournament at the St. Croix Casino.  At least I didn’t leave any evidence on my clothes.  I didn’t want to show any weakness.

This was the sixth time I have participated in a poker tournament; the others being at a bar (where I won $50), at the Tropicana in Las Vegas (where I won $400 in one of the two tournaments I bought into), a WSOP satellite event at Treasure Island in MN (almost placed in the top 50 percentile), and another circuit event at the Horseshoe Casino in Council Bluffs, IA (where I was 5 seats away from being “in the money”).

I think my touchy stomach is a mix of the anticipation of possibly winning and the uncertain level of disappointment on losing, but mostly involves the anxiety of looking like an asshole.  In previous tournaments I have bet out of turn, folded rather than checked with the big blind, and got confused when changing a large chip for the blind and ante.  So, I’ve looked like a donkey before, but survived it, and I think that knowledge keeps me wanting to play.

This tournament was a $65 buy-in with a $10 fee with the option to re-buy should a player bust before the first break.  Every player received 10K in chips to start and had a chance to add-on another 5K in chips for $20 cash.  There were about 65 different players, but several re-buys drove the prize pool.  First place could have won about $1,500.

I didn’t have a lot to play with during the first couple rounds, although I did see plenty of pocket 8-3’s and 7-4’s to wish I was at a blackjack table.  I made some small bets on weak hands and would frequently be out of the hand after the flop.  One hand, I had AQ that I played.  The flop contained rags and the player to my right (Seat 2) bet double the big blind.  I called.  The turn card was an Ace and I had a pair.  Seat 2 then went big with a $2200 bet and I was in deliberation mode.  I eventually came to the conclusion he must have had an Ace and a low card that paired on the board, so he had two pair while I just had a pair of Aces.  After a couple minutes, I decided to fold.

In the first 90 minutes of play, I stayed in the round beyond the river only once.  I had pocket eights and was head-to-head with the only lady at the table, who joined late.  We showed each other a lot of friendliness by checking the flop, turn and river.  When it was time to reveal cards, she had pocket tens and took the rather small pot.

Although play was pretty dull, I was entertained by learning the personalities of my tablemates.  The guy to my immediate left (Seat 4) stood out the most.  He had ‘80’s style hair and wore these futuristic looking, narrow sunglasses.  When the blinds increase from 200/100 to 400/200, he had missed the announcement.  He put out a $500 chip and received $100 in return.  His exchange with the dealer reminded me of the scene with Tony D’Annunzio in Caddyshack:

Tony D'Annunzio:  Give me a coke. 

Danny Noonan:     One coke. [gives Tony a bottle of Coke and 50 cents] 

Tony D'Annunzio:  Hey wait a minute. That's only 50 cents. 

Danny Noonan:     Yeah well Lou raised the price of coke. 

Tony D'Annunzio:  Well I ain't paying no 50 cents for no coke.

During another hand, he pointedly notified the dealer one of his cards was exposed.  I didn’t see it, and I don’t believe anyone else at the table did either.  He said it was a nine of diamonds and it turned out to be a ten of diamonds, so at least he was pretty accurate about the card.  I was hoping it would be a six of hearts or something.

My only direct engagement with Seat 4 was also the one time I felt foolish.  He was the big blind and I was the small blind.  Every player folded and the action came to me.  I held an 8-10 suited and decided to call.  Seat 4 asked me if I was sure I didn’t want to ‘chop.’  I didn’t know what chopping was so I said no.  He replied “alright” and went all in.  One of the other players said, “I guess you should have chopped” and the whole table had a laugh at my expense.  I folded my hand along with my pride.

At the break, I looked up what chopping was and it happens when everyone folds to the blinds and those players decide to take back their chips.  What isn’t clear is the protocol to determine when to chop.  Is it the big or small blind’s responsibility to ask?  During a couple other rounds, all players folded to the blinds, and the small blinds called the big blinds.  The big blinds would then check.  In one case, the player with the big blind said, “I’ll be nice” and checked. It was then I came to the realization that Seat 4 was a douchebag.

Through tight play, I was able to make it to the break, but I was one of the shortest stacks.  I was going to need to make some moves to stay in the tournament.  I eventually had an A4 suited and decided to go all-in.  One other player called me with at least one face card, suited.  The flop had an Ace, but also two cards that nearly completed a straight and a flush for the other player, so he had a lot of outs.  The turn card was a four and the river was no help and I was able to double-up.

Once I had won my first hand, the pressure was off.  Once again, I had an AQ, unsuited, and played.  The flop had a King and I bet twice the big blind.  That scared off the other two players.  Later in the round, I had a Q9 suited, and the flop had another card of the same suit.  I was head-to-head with one other player (Seat 9) and he checked.  I bet fairly big and he called.  I caught another 9 at the turn and a third at the river.  Seat 9 would check to me every round and called me after my bet.  I think he had me beat until I got trips.

That round got me close to the tournament average in chips.  Tables were consolidating and a new player took up residence at Seat 2.  At one point, he went all-in and I had AK, Big Slick.  I called.  The new guy in Seat 4 eventually decided to fold and it was just me and Seat 2 head-to-head.  He had pocket Jacks and I don’t think another face card showed on the board.  It could have been worse, as Seat 4 (the chip leader at the table) had pocket fives and the third one was on the board, so he would have won.  If he called, he probably would have pushed me all-in.

After that hand, our table broke-up and players moved to new tables.  I was moved to Seat 1 at the new table and was dealt a QJ off-suit.  The blinds were 1000/500 and I had about $2600 in chips left, so I limped in.  One other player (Seat 7) went all-in and he had a big stack.  This was my last chance, I called with my remaining $1600 chips and the only other player in the action folded.  Seat 7 had a pair of nines, and once again, I had two over cards and was looking for a pair.  Once again, I didn’t get one of the two cards I needed and busted.  That was my first and only hand at the new table.  As I left, I joked, “Is this seat even warm?”

Always leave them laughing.